Being a woman of power does not come easy. It really takes years of recognizing behaviors in other people that make us feel less than what we are. It is unfortunate that people will prey on weak-minded women for personal gain.
So many times, I have been in situations of inferiority for reasons such as my gender, background, and even the way I look. You do not need to waste any time with petty, insulting, or negative people. Like I have told you before, sis, you are the cherry on top. You are what makes things better. We are never going to be able to please everyone. So stop trying.
Throughout the past few years, I’ve noted there are a few things that powerful women will never do. See which ones resonate most with you and begin to recognize when you are about to fall into one of these traps. When you are about to fall, stop yourself because becoming a powerful woman means first acting like a powerful woman.
Powerful women never…
Explain. You have absolutely nothing to explain to anyone. Your actions, decisions, and desires are your prerogative. There is absolutely no need to try to convince someone about why you do something. Most people will only hear what they want to hear. Remember that their perception of you or the truth has no impact on you, unless you allow it to do so. People seem to feel entitled to know what is going on with others and are quick to judge when their grass is not any greener than yours. Do not waste any time, energy, or voice in trying to justify your actions to anyone else but yourself. Your career choice; don’t explain. Your beliefs; don’t explain. Your goals; don’t explain. Your relationships; don’t explain. Your decisions; don’t explain. Your expenses; don’t explain.
Apologize. Stop saying you’re sorry for anything, especially when you are not at fault. When we say, sorry, we allow people to gain control over us. This is difficult for people who are genuinely nice and compassionate towards others. There is nothing to be sorry for unless you actually did something to cause harm to others. This tendency can really lower your self-esteem because it is registered as you making mistakes that you have to say sorry for. This one is not easy. I catch myself all the time saying, sorry. Like, if I get invited to lunch, but can’t go, I say sorry. A simple, we can plan for next week, would suffice because there is really no need to say sorry. I have done nothing wrong if I can’t go. Begin to make yourself aware and change the narrative.
Care What Others Think. Other people’s perception of YOU is none of your concern. We spend so much of our life pleasing people to the point of making ourselves almost go crazy. There is a saying in Spanish, “No soy monedita de fro para cable bien a todos,” which translates to, “I am not a gold coin to be liked by everyone.” Recognize this, so that you do not worry about what others say, think, or talk about you. Let your integrity, success, and achievements make all the noise. People are always going to talk, to find something wrong, to judge, to try and make you feel less. Let them try till their necks hurt. You make it a point to not play into any of those games. You don’t have time for that when you are building your empire.
Compare Themselves to Others. A powerful woman never compares herself to others, she is her own competition. The comparison game is more prominent with the constant display of people’s exuberant life on social media. We sometimes forget that the perfect Facebook life is only a fantasy. People are always going to post what puts them in the best light. Outside of social media, we still tend to compare ourselves with others achievements and accomplishments. I remember having to battle this daily with a set of perfect neighbors. I swear they seemed to be perfect in absolutely every way. They had the paid-off house. The edged yard. The extra car. The stay at home mom. They had the perfect family. Dang, even their coffee was better. Every conversation with them was a reminder of how bad my life was. I now realize that they were older than me, they had more experience in life. They were by no means perfect, only their yard. Comparing ourselves to others is really not productive at all. It puts standards in our heads that are not even realistic for us. Just because my neighbor was a stay at home mom, does not mean I had to be or should be on too. Do not fall into this trap, ladies, it’s toxic.
Live in the Past. Stop dwelling on what happened in your past. Let go and move on. Remember that you are in control of your future. The mistakes, the opportunities that you did not take, the boyfriend you broke up with, the house you lost, the class you dropped, the job you did not take, all that really does not matter now. There is no going back and fixing nothing. Nada. Start to create your new future. You do not need any extra baggage when you are building your future. This one is super difficult for me because I can forgive but I don’t forget. In reality, I am only hurting myself. There is no reason to hold grudges. Move on with your life because I bet you that the other person is not in the one bit worried about it. Release your past to make room for your amazing future.
Feel Guilty. Stop feeling bad for an action that you have taken. This is a daily occurrence for most of us. We tend to feel guilty for almost everything. If we take the last piece of anything, we feel guilty. If we are on a diet and cheat with curly fries, we feel guilty. When we take time for ourselves, we feel guilty. When we say no, we feel guilty. Stop doing this to yourself, you are 100% deserving of the last cookie as anyone else. Eat the cookie and enjoy every last chewy bite. Learn to recognize this fake guilt, as you really have done nothing wrong. Nada.
Start to examine your daily activities and begin to recognize the instances that trigger any of the above behaviors and learn to overcome them. Being fabulous is not easy but also not impossible. Learn to recognize behaviors in yourself and others so that you can come out on top. Your empire awaits.
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As always, let’s end this party with a video. In this short video, I tell you how I stepped into my power and why I started EmpoweredFem.
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Join us on October 22nd for our 2nd Empowered Chat. This one will be on Managing Your Time. Be sure to register!
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[…] this year, I am feeling truly accomplished, powerful, and so proud of myself and this woman I have become. This woman who does it all on her own, […]
[…] this year, I am feeling truly accomplished, powerful, and so proud of myself and this woman I have become. This woman who does it all on her own, […]