In the last post, we talked about the reality for four types of moms who have been affected by this virus. Today, I want to talk specifically to those of you who aren’t moms or wives. All the single ladies…All the single ladies (in my Beyoncé voice).
Some of you are dealing with many thoughts and feelings right now…and you’re going home to an empty space with no one to process them with. That has to be equally as hard as going home and feeling like you have to perform a million things before you can put your feet up.
You ladies are experiencing thoughts similar to what the moms are thinking, you’re in similar categories (you’ve either been told you’re suddenly working from home, are still going into work, have been laid off, or have felt as affected because you are already working from home) but without the responsibility of other humans. However, those changes are a lot for most of you just as they are for the moms. Let’s talk a bit today about what you can do to make it through this time.
Making it Through this Time
Practice Proper Self-Care
I can’t express the importance of self-care enough right now. You have to have good boundaries, proper rest, and a peaceful environment when you get home from work. I can’t help you with the lonely feeling, but I can totally help you lean into what you are feeling and allow yourself to rise above the emotion by taking practice steps that help you feel spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally well. It is more important than ever.
- Make time for GLAMMING each morning! This is will help with your overall mood. We are just better with lashes, gloss, and flat ironed hair. Put on the dress, shirt, or pants that you have been saving for a special occasion. Today is your DAY! Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to stop showering or to forget about taking care of yourself because you think no one will see you anymore or that you can’t smell odor through Zoom. You can. Trust me.
- Give yourself time to feel your emotions. Journal through them and then leave them there. I recently started practicing this, and let me tell you that it’s a game-changer. It easier to leave those feelings of uncertainty, fear, and doubt on paper rather than carrying it all day with you.
- Blast music and sing along for 15-20 minutes a day. I do this all the time on my way to work. I have arrived at work with almost no voice left from me performing in my car to a sold-out crowd.
- Set strong boundaries for how much you will do each day and when you will stop working if you’re still working.
- Remind yourself that the whole definition of essential and non-essential has completely changed recently and does NOT define you personally. You are needed and necessary.
Be Willing to Over Communicate
Let your boss know exactly where you stand with his request that you work earlier and stay later now that you are working from home. Share with your coworker that you are willing to pitch in, but that it isn’t acceptable that you are working longer hours to make up for them struggling to take care of the kids and work at the same time. Share your thoughts with sympathy, but don’t allow yourself to be walked on because those of us who are married and mothers believe you have all the time in the world since you don’t have our responsibilities. Be firm about your boundaries (remember what we just talked about in the last section?).
Ask for Help
For those of you struggling with your situation, talk with a therapist or friend. Be willing to get vulnerable and open up. This is your life and you are totally okay not being okay right now. But it is never okay to stay not okay when there is a world around us filled with resources to help us. Share your thoughts and ask for books, music, therapies that can help you get through this time. There is no shame in asking for help.
You Got This Sis
Ladies, you already possess all that you need to get through this time. You have all that is required to succeed, and you will do so if you allow yourself to focus on the great things about this time instead of the negative effects. For example, right now more than ever you get to choose who is coming into your space. Have you thought about that? All those people you have to push yourself to spend time with can’t make you feel guilty right now because we are supposed to be staying home. Imagine if we stay in for a month or two…that’s enough time for people to forget about you and for you to forget about them. You will truly know who you want to be in your space by who you feel you would welcome into it purposefully and intently. For me, that is Bradley Cooper. He can come in with or without purpose. 😉 You can’t settle and be phenomenal. Empowered women empower others because they know they can choose who they spend their time with. Consider yourself empowered in this moment to make decisions about who is in your life!
When you are single, it is easy to want to be in another place. Most of us can relate to feelings of wanting someone with us. However, many of us can also remember that being fabulous af while we were single is what helped us find the RIGHT man and not the monkeys who never deserved our attention.
Give yourself time to enjoy being inside and consider learning some of the skills necessary for advancing in your career, making your dreams come true, or that you’ve wanted to learn. This is a perfect time to reflect on who you are and whether that person is who you want to be. If they aren’t the same, make the changes necessary to become the woman you want to be!
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